Monday, September 19, 2011

Hurts So Good

I am currently 37 weeks pregnant with my fourth child but it may as well be my first go around.  Each twinge, pang and pull is met with hopeful optimism.  Every time I visit the ladies room, approximately every three minutes if you are keeping track, there is the great white hope that I will find some sign the baby is on his way. 

I perform endless "Google" searches with phrases like "signs of labor," "natural ways to get labor started," and "37 weeks pregnant contractions."  These searches yield hundreds of thousands of hits with countless stories of labor, delivery and of course the detailed of symptoms of Mommies gone by.  I read each account hungrily, as if soaking in more knowledge will somehow rupture my membranes and set into motion the process that will finally bring this torture to an end.

Everyday it gets worse.  I get less patient.  I even wore my lucky "water-breaking" pants to work today.  

Experience has taught me that such behavior is fruitless and frustrating but yet I still engage.

The pain of labor is nothing compared to teh agony of waiting.  The "what if" and "what does that mean?"  is enought to drive any sane person batty let alone a very pregnant lady who is hanging by a very thin thread. 

I know that he'll come when he is ready.  But Momma is ready NOW. 


  1. I can't imagine. I still find myself unable to sleep on Christmas eve, despite knowing that nobody will have visited my tree. A baby? The wonder-what will he look like? Will he be healthy? Dear God, when can I start wearing my normal clothes again!?

  2. Haha! This reminds me of my last pregnancy. At 38 weeks I began having regular contractions about every 10 minutes. I was sure that was time but they never got closer together or intensified. The doctor checked at 40 weeks and, despite two solid weeks of contractions, I was only 2cm and at week 43 they had to induce me. After 5 weeks of regular contractions you would think that I would have just gotten used to it or learned to ignore them but, no, I analyzed every single one of them. 'Was that one worse than the one before' or 'Where they closer together this time?' It was agonizing.

  3. I love the water breaking pants! I need a pair of those! Stat! :) How long are you staying at work?