I am currently 37 weeks pregnant with my fourth child but it may as well be my first go around. Each twinge, pang and pull is met with hopeful optimism. Every time I visit the ladies room, approximately every three minutes if you are keeping track, there is the great white hope that I will find some sign the baby is on his way.
I perform endless "Google" searches with phrases like "signs of labor," "natural ways to get labor started," and "37 weeks pregnant contractions." These searches yield hundreds of thousands of hits with countless stories of labor, delivery and of course the detailed of symptoms of Mommies gone by. I read each account hungrily, as if soaking in more knowledge will somehow rupture my membranes and set into motion the process that will finally bring this torture to an end.
Everyday it gets worse. I get less patient. I even wore my lucky "water-breaking" pants to work today.
Experience has taught me that such behavior is fruitless and frustrating but yet I still engage.
The pain of labor is nothing compared to teh agony of waiting. The "what if" and "what does that mean?" is enought to drive any sane person batty let alone a very pregnant lady who is hanging by a very thin thread.
I know that he'll come when he is ready. But Momma is ready NOW.