Supermoms & Sleep Safety

As I lay in bed watching what can only be described as the longest most boring movie ever,I ponder the events of the past week.  The movie, courtesy of the quite fabulolus HD video monitor purchased by my sisters-in-law, now keeps vigil over Miracle-Monkey as he sleeps.  I think about how my life has changed in the days that followed the terrible accident that threatened to take away my youngest child.

At least three or four times each night I spring out of bed, monitor in hand and run to his room to startle him awake, just to be sure.  It is likely the kid will not know a true "good night's sleep" until he is in his mid-teens but tough turkey, I say. 

His peaceful sleep is the most difficult to watch as I am haunted forever my the mental snap shot of his limp, lifeless body.  I prefer much more to see him sqirm and move in the restless phases of his sleep cycle. Thankfully for me he figits quite a bit as he was once a comfortable side sleeper, allowing easy access to his fingers for sucking.  He is now relagated to a life of back sleeping safely in his crib, firm mattress, free of blankets.  He struggles to find a position that keeps his tiny fingers within reach but when he does he drifts off, and I watch his chest rise and fall.  Forever...or until sleep overtakes me.

In the night I am so grateful now for the sound of his cry, so alive, so strong.  Sure, I am sleep deprived but it no longer matters.  We are home, all under one roof. 

And his waking hours, oh I adore his waking hours.  His laugh and his squeal, so beautiful.  He talks to us in animated tones.  He has so much to say, no chance that this Monkey will not be given his fair piece of the family pie.

What I have learned from this terrible incident is that most Mom's have the best intentions when it comes to our families but the pressure to be a "Supermom" is sometimes too great.  We do things that compromise safety in the name of efficiency so that we can get more done, fit more in.  Propping a bottle while wrestling a sibling into clothes for the day or leaving the baby unattended on the changing table, even just for a second - no longer. 

I, for one, multi-task much less.  As a result, much less gets accomplished.  My house is quite often a disaster zone, toys strewn about and dishes piled in the sink, but I know that my attention is where it needs to be, on my kids.

And I am thankful that my near miss with tragedy and subsequent quick fire spread of the story thanks to Scary Mommy could inspire so very many people to contemplate the small things that each and every mother does that compromise the safety of our kids.

Thank you to everyone who commented and re-posted.  Thanks to those who wished me well, encouraged me not to blame myself and to those who shared stories of thier own parenting moments.  I feel so blessed to be part of such a special community of people, the Mommy Bloggers & Friends. 

I think we did a good thing by getting the word out. 

Love to you all.

Erin & Co.