Some days I am hanging by a very thin thread.
One that is reinforced by baby smiles, bear hugs and an understanding spouse. But some days it's not enough.
The razor thin tether from which I dangle is frayed by every pair of pants that don't fit and every pointless work meeting that wastes my precious time. The thread unravels with every new spot of what promises to be impetigo on my already tragic belly skin. I cling to the end of my rope knowing that soon the weight will be too much and the thread will break. I will tumble end over end into the great nothingness below. I am so overwhelmed by the pressure, by the fear of falling that I don't think to look down.
If I did I would see the sturdy supports, strong and solid. I would see that I am never in danger of falling. They are always there, my sisters. Steady, stable, dependable and true.
Sisters by birth, sisters-in-law; sisters by proximity of housing and employment, sisters who "knew me when," sisters who know me deep. The women in my life that are there to catch me when I stumble, to steady me, to prop me back up.
When my world turned upside down after Miracle-Monkey's accident I realized just how blessed I truly was, but in the months that have followed that feeling of thankfulness has gotten lost in the daily scramble to "fit it all in." It seemed fitting, today, to take this opportunity to remind you all just how important you are to me. Just how much it means to me to know that I have a soft place to land.
With every little pumice of my soul, every crying fit that you absorb in stride, every time you listen to me and laugh with me, provide council and companionship, you strengthen my thread. I can only hope to return the favor ten fold.
Love you all. Every last one of you.
"Today may there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us." ~ adapted from a prayer of Mother Theresa
I hear you. Without the women around me (IRL and here, online), I would have dissolved into a pile of frazzled mush long ago. I hope things get a bit easier for you soon!
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