Where the Monsters Find Us (Guest Post)

When I was a preschooler in the early 50s I used to play a game to amuse/ terrorize myself where my bed was safe and everything surrounding it filled with monsters, alligators, fire or other unknown hideous things. I would imagine my family and friends isolated in their own beds afraid, unaware, and vulnerable. I’d picture scary scenarios where sleeping siblings would bounce out of bed and fall prey to the ogre, where a crying baby would be rescued from a crib, where life-sustaining food and water would be secured by my heroism. In our house it was possible to communicate by tapping on the pipes, a method our dad employed to demand we keep the noise down.  Even though we knew nothing of Morse Code (except that it existed) I would fantasize that we would communicate using it. I’d further picture an elaborate system of communication consisting of string and soup cans to share needed information (an early version of iPhones...which in another bed somewhere was some tech genius baby imaging wifi and then inventing it.)

The game was pretend but the fear was real. Grown-ups would painfully explain away the monsters and ultimately my faith in adults would allow me to sleep peacefully and be able to use the bathroom, get dressed, race downstairs without giving it a second thought. It was an early lesson of the value of fact versus fiction.

Today in the year 2020 I find myself in a world where for many people around me, there are no facts. Everything factual is questioned and motives imagined. A considerable segment of the population has ignored facts that are clearly in evidence before our eyes. We have reached a stage where all news can be regarded as fake to serve our own purposes. The truth or a lie carries the same weight. There is no downside to lying. There is no such thing as proof. Sources are questioned and conspiracy theories run rampant. ‘You believe what you believe, I’ll believe what I believe.” Except, somewhere in there is a FACT. It’s fertile ground for an evil virus to reign siege on a society so skeptical that it has lost its true North.

So here we are. The coronavirus pandemic has become a parallel of the game I played as a child. Our homes are the beds, COVID19 is the monster, the heroes are medical and essential individuals sustaining us, the entire world is in the game, scientists and truth tellers are the grownups. We as people need to be the unsuspicious citizens who accept reality and believe in scientific facts. Although I haven’t personally seen the invisible virus I’ve seen the incredible damage it is imposing on neighboring countries, states, cities, towns, and neighborhoods.

It’s hard to comprehend the misery and devastation around us, yet here on our bed/home it’s not evident. This could all be a bad dream or a game that our mind is playing. A patient, trusting parent could elevate our irrational fear of something so invisible. I wish! It’s time to stop being a petulant child and listen to the facts as presented by the highest trained and trusted experts. Forget about our preconceived beliefs and political petty inclinations and do what is asked of us. Learn and appreciate the facts, put in the time, seek expert advice, value credentials, stop listening to those who tell lies. With childlike openness, we may be able to save ourselves and maybe save the world by making it a more intelligent, cooperative, better place.

It's the End of the World as We Know It...

I have borrowed trouble since I was a young child.  Fretting about things that never come to pass. Anxiety, worry, irrational fear are as routine for me as brushing my teeth.  It's just the way I am made.

Living in that space keeps you serious. Like an officer on duty I walk a razors edge of what if.  But on March 16th everything changed.

The "what if" became a "what now" and life as we knew it came to a screeching halt.  School, Sports, Shopping - Cancelled.  Churches closed.  Assemblies un-assembled.  Socially distant was the new norm.

I blew it off at first.  Rolling my eyes as I rubbed elbows instead of embracing a dear old friend.  I broke the rules and hosted sleepovers.  I treated it as a vacation.

"Coronacation" changed me.

It was small shift, almost imperceptible to those around me.  It was my own lack of panic that I noticed first.  The proverbial "other shoe" has finally dropped and I am steady.  I have been waiting for this!"   It's the end of the world as we know it...and I feel fine.

I have been thrust directly into the present.  Living each day as it comes.  The tomorrows are on pause.  Unknown as far as the eye can see.  No more planning, no more guarantees.

Truthfully it is terrifying at times.  When the new reality set in I cried for the loss of  carefree days I didn't get to enjoy.  So engulfed in my worry, missing out on moments.  I failed to be truly present, waiting for a sucker punch that never came.

But here I am daring to look at the present and see it for what it really is.

Connected.  Connected to the kids, to my husband, to what we have created.  Connected to the idea of the six of us as a family unit - almost literally on an island.  Connected to a community of co-workers and fellow countrymen.

The world has turned upside down and I am perfectly calm.  Isn't it ironic?

Here on my island life is pretty damn good.  A nap with youngest, sneaking in snuggles with all that will allow it.  Staying up late talking to the big ones about their dreams and goals.  Spending quality hours of time with my love.  Even work is challenging and stimulating in a way that it has not been in a long time.

There is safety in the space where I used to live.  Comfort in knowing if you always expect something bad, you will never be caught off guard.  Unfortunately that isn't true.

The future is uncertain in every way.  It always was.

Nobody can predict what happens next.  There will be tough times ahead.  There will be loss and pain and grief.  It's coming whether you worry or not and that knowledge has given me the freedom to invest in the now...and faith enough not to worry about it.