It's been a rough week for the carpet.
My oldest son runs into our bedroom and yells, "Mommy, I'm throwing up!"
Yes. You certainly are. Something beige by the looks of it. Thank God for that.
There are a few things that you must know about my oldest son. He will be six years old in two weeks. He is smart as a whip. He has two volumes, loud and megaphone.
Yesterday, which seems like 100 years ago, when the middle child was ill, the prospect of staying home with him was, in a word, delightful. Our middle son is content with sitting still, on your lap, sucking his "puppy" for countless hours. He will snuggle and watch "The Today Show" without protest. He will even giggle quietly as Jon Stewart flails around mocking the "Tea Partiers," all while nestled in the crook of your arm. He is the perfect sick kid.
Our oldest son is NOT conducive to illness. He can sit still for approximately 37 seconds before demanding some kind of engaging entertainment. He will tell you, at 100 decibels, that "This is a GROWN-UP show and it is NOT APPROPRIATE for kids." He never actually sleeps. Ever. Just lulls into some semi-conscious state that seems like sleep but if called upon can be awake - immediately - in full control of all faculties.
He will have a fever of 109 and vommit every 20 mins, but mid puke will be asking you how the "flush" works on the toilet. He never seems sick, he never slows down, will NEVER STOP TALKING. He is the WORST sick kid.
My terrible sick kid climbs into bed with me. His raging fever makes him like a little heater, which is strangely comforting. He snuggles close to me and I feel content becuase I NEVER get to be this close to him.
He talks at volume 100 like a little adult. Including himself in the discussion about which parent will call off for tomorrow. He would prefer that it be Dad. Dad will play Wii. But only if sick kids are allowed to play Wii. Mom, are sick kids allowed to play Wii? Or do sick kids need to stay in bed for the whole day? What time can sick kids get out of bed? Can sick kids be on the couch or does it have to be a bed? Can sick kids play Wii in bed? What if the sick kid can't sleep? Can the sick kid read or do they have to keep their eyes closed? How long until the sick goes away? ....and so on...and so on....and so on.
Until finally my sainted husband, the chosen parent called in for sick kid duty, takes him out of the bedroom.
I lay awake in the darkness and smile. Tomorrow night, it will be de ja vu all over again. After all, I have THREE kids.
I count my blessings, one, two, three.