21 days...

They say it takes 21 days to make/ break a habit so...here I am on day 2.  I am going to excercise for 30 minutes per day, EVERYDAY - for 21 days.

So far no habits have been made or broken but...I feel better, or maybe just sore. 

I am feeling hopeful and overwhelmed.  Is that possible? 

I do feel a little like I am running on a treadmill - expending so much energy with very little to show for it.  Just sweaty and tired, but still in the same place I started. 

I wonder if I will ever stop being a slob?  I spilled coffee all over my living room carpet.  The carpet is light cream, the coffee was not.  It looks like a coffee related murder scene.  I attempted to clean it up as I rushed to finish the morning essentials and get out of the door on time. 

I am sure there will be a stain.  A reminder of my slobbiness.  Something else for my husband to clean up. 

But I did get to work on time. 

I did not bring two matching gym shoes.  Two different left sneakers in fact.  And this is my life. 

Running around, never really going anywhere. 

But I am in love with my husband.  In love with my children.  In love with the smell of their clean, freshly washed hair.  Breathing in deeply and nuzzling thier necks with my face.  This is how I wake them.   On the days that they don't wake me. 

It is almost unbeleiveable that I created these amazing little creatures.  Me, the person who can't get a cup of coffee upstairs without leaving a trail of drips.  Me, the person who can't complete a load of wash without including at least one chapstick, a green crayon and 15 tissues.  Me, the person who isn't sure she was meant to be a wife and a mother. 

And yet I am.  And I love it.  I love them.  I love my life.  My coffee stained, two left sneaker kinda life.