Impotence (n) powerlessness: the quality of lacking strength or power; being weak and feeble .
I feel completely impotent. I cannot fix the lack of motivation in my students, nor can I change the lack of involvement of their parents in the educational process. I can't fix the cycle of poverty that I see everyday. The emphasis placed on the choice of "godparents" for a child being born to a 15 year old who will just never have a chance. I cannot bridge the divide between the haves and the have-nots. I can't make it right.
This impotence extends beyond my career choice. It reaches out to the grocery stores and the T-ball fields. There are so few things over which I have any control. The weather, the climate, the attitude of other parents. I can do little about the political landscape in our country and even less about the Middle East. The economy is outside of my circle too.
But impotence in these areas is expected. It is understood.
What I didn't see coming was the feeling of powerlessness in my personal life.
I request few things of Monkey-Maker when it comes to parenting decisions. Most often we are on the same page but occasionally, we have different points of view. Allow me to enter into evidence, Exhibit A.
Monster Monkey was invited for a play date, leaving Middle Monkey to cry hysterically about the unfairness of it all. The Monkey-Maker was then faced with a small dilemma, what to do to appease Middle Monkey.
His answer? Let him watch WWE Smackdown.
Now, you should know that as a parent, there are FEW things I feel exceptionally strong about, but on this short list, WWE is Public Enemy #1.
I HATE WWE. HATE everything about it.
So....while my children are small-ish and while I can control what vile images entire their vision, I want to keep them away from this shit.
My call right? Within my control? Think again...
The Monkey-Maker does not share my disgust and disdain for all things WWE and therefore, I suppose, it seemed to him that the logical choice was to allow Middle Monkey to watch the latest installment of WWE Smackdown.
And how did I learn about this violation of my one simple rule you may ask??
Well, Middle Monkey greeted me at the door of our home and sheepishly confessed his sins, and the sins of his father.
Is this the end of the world? Certainly not.
I am sure that if my Monkey's have not already heard and seen far worse demonstrations of human conduct, then they will eventually be spectators of the worst that our planet has to offer.
HOWEVER, I was hoping to shield them for a bit longer...
And so....impotent is how I feel.
How about you?